Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
