You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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