Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
