Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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