Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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