Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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