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• (714): View more from California

  found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  I can pencil you in at 3:30

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."

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• (415): View more from California

  I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey

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