So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
