Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
