I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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