so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
