with your own penis?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
