u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
