If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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