Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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