no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
