i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
