$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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