I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
