It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize