I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
