what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
