She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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