I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
