yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
