I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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