I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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