I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
