dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
