I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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