if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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