she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am one with the molecules
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
