i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
