thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The air taste purple.
Randomize
