so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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