Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize