where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
