sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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