Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
