youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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