No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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