What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
