We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
