Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
