I wanna passion pit in your ass
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This toilet bowl is my home.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
