hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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