JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
