Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
