Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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