I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
