If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
