Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
