yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
