he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
