I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
