Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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