you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
third nipple confirmed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
