I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize