You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
