I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize