Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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