he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize