my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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